I'm getting very tired of not being able to be here as often as I would like, and NEED! to be to feel good, feel free, play, and be happy! Ever since my last journal entry, I've done nothing but work, help my mother who suffered a big time injury thanks to one of our neighbors, not get as much sleep as I need and today I topped it all off with having to stay in bed all day with a tremendous life-crippling migraine headache.

Every summer I get to a point with my job where I start to feel very burnt out because I AM burning out. I think this happens to everybody- You reach a point in the year; maybe once, maybe twice, maybe thrice- Where you NEED to take some time off from the day-to-day grind and put yourself FIRST. For me, it always happens somewhere around July. I don't like my job whatsoever because it's pitiful, menial work but hell, in this economy, it's a job and I'm damn proud I have it. I'm always able to maintain a good attitude towards my work regardless of how bad a day can be for me, no matter how much I really hate it. But lately my attitude has been slipping. I've been super tense and flew through anxiety meds (lol yes, real ones! ) like they were a delicious cheeseburger fresh off the ol' BBQ grill. Mmmm, cheeseburgers...

Because I know what time of year I burn out, I always take preparation for it and put in for a week off in July. Usually I get it. But this year, nope. I put in for it back in March, never was told it wasn't approved, and was denied. The only way I found out it wasn't approved was by looking in the request book for myself. Fuckers.

I have to hold out until August. I'm really trying to.

As much as I hated having to call out today because of the migraine that started at work last night and refused to respond to my migraine medicine not once but twice, in a way I'm glad I did. I got to stay in bed and rest all day and try to catch up on the sleep I need, but the sleep part didn't work out too hot with the horrible, horrible headache pain. I did start to doze off this afternoon but was awoken by my upstairs neighbor's 2 year old playing on his bouncy toy. I don't know if it was my headache amplifying the sound or if my ceiling really did sound like it was about to cave in, but thankfully my neighbor was wicked cool about having her child play in the other room. Thank you, lady.

I just really hate calling out no matter how much I hate that place because my attendance sucks thanks to my migraines. I get them not horribly frequently, but frequently enough and they're BAD. They're like having someone continuously pound a sledgehammer at one localized spot in your forehead right above your eye, then on top of it- You know the kind of headache you get when you have a wicked bad hangover? That on top of it. And there is one supervisor at work that doesn't believe me and has spread rumors that I'm making all this up.

I'd like to see this cow have one of my headaches just ONCE.

Sigh.

5:35pm, two Imitrex shots and 4 Tylenols later and I'm about 70% better and now I'm actually able to sit here. I even have a little bit of an appetite.

I do expect to be away from dA again this weekend, but this time not because of work or anything unfun like that. It's gonna be all about the fun, all about the abandoned hospitals, all about one abandoned hospital in particular, and all about The Good Doctor exploring said abandoned hospital with a patient here on dA!

I now plan to sit my ass right here for the duration of the night, eat slowly, rest, relax, enjoy, and make myself well.